1. |
Lights
04:16
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Bright eyed, coy, you stir me up
The tremble in my hand makes for an abrasive touch
The highlight reel while I fall
I’m never what you thought I could be
While you sleep, I’m caught up, will you leave the lights on?
All the good let in that I take for granted
Spit enough out to cast a softer shadow
You don’t mind the mess, you float quick, in control
When my body only wants me to slow down
When it hurts to just be present you’re around
Though my dark is trite, persistent, you’re still down
Lights on, I wanna feel
Bring a cool wind when I'm floating down a river of feeling
You don’t need me to bleed in your soft satin sheets
I make a mess of your masterpiece
When my body only wants me to slow down
When it hurts to just be present you’re around
Soak it all through the afternoon
When everything at once rears its head on through
So dark and brooding finds your harsh light soothing
Singing love is somewhere out there
In a bright space, where we’re sheltered
When my body only wants me to slow down
You’re a cool wind when I’m floating down a river of feeling
You don’t need me to bleed in your soft satin sheets
Will I make a mess of your master piece?
When my body only wants me to slow down
When it hurts to just be present you’re around
Though my dark is trite, persistent, you’re still down
A sick dream you can’t leave
Lights on; I wanna feel
Not wonder, god, was it real?
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2. |
Big Idea
04:32
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Throw our bikes into the dirt
As we get high at the fence behind the church
Playing basketball, Christ plays guard, he’s 6 foot 4
He’s got a good shot, sick handle, full court vision
He runs the floor
It’s like he sees something I can’t see
I am wheezing, plagued by disease
He says to say a prayer and he’ll get me there
But I’m pretty sure we’re doomed
Being human feels criminal
Our cardinal sins unoriginal
So I look forward to the end because Jesus is my famous friend
He turns gatorade back into wine
So we can feel good for a while
Then we lay on the cross
And we fake a smile
Swept into a vortex, so visceral and elegant
We are small, impersonal
The world is big, the world is cold
Laugh along as we’re sent off
Stage left God, the crowd applauds
And I’ll die all alone
They were right all along
Cut to the public pool,
the water’s holy, the leaves are too
a drug rug, a slow charm exudes
Smoking Marlboro reds and he looks real cool
I’m skeptic but chlorine high
He’s got chrome pegs on his bike
So I hop on and don’t ask why
Because a friend in death sure does sound nice
And aching deep inside our soul
Is the fear that we just can’t be whole
So I look forward to the end
Let the rapture kill our faithless friends
Grow afraid it’s benign
And I’ll die not sure why
So we lay on the cross and we fake a smile
Swept into a vortex, so visceral and elegant
We are small, impersonal
The world is big, the world is cold
Laugh along as we’re sent off
Stage left God, and the crowd applauds
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3. |
Can Any Tower Hear Me
03:58
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An alabaster ledge for solitude
It erodes before we get to see the view
Katie wants to dance around the room
She finds time to still be an altruistic glue
I’m distant on the bed, I watch in mute
You float with grace like you’re out of body too
I wonder how you’re at peace I see your world is burning too
I want to muster up the right words to try and huff the fumes with you
In a solid state your glares could cut right through
But you’re all alone in vapor, face stays muddled behind the flume
All the signals I throw never reach you on the coast
They just explode in the middle in the places no one ever goes
The places no one ever goes
Scattered across the cornfields
My message reaches only silos
All the signals I throw, they never reach you on the coast
They just explode in the middle in the places no one ever needs to go
The cul-de-sac I watch as you bike through
On your way into the city
I try and run but can’t catch you
The signals I throw never reach you on the coast
They just explode in the suburbs
In the places no one ever needs to go
Just under the ice you skate
You float through dreams, I’m wide awake
A field of snow you paint with grace
Even the greys, I’m wide awake
To see I’m missing out on something big
I’m missing out on something great
Even the greys, I’m wide awake
Alone although your glow is always near
If we never get to speak
your picture’s clear
The places no one ever goes
Scattered across the cornfields
Message reaches only silos
All the signals I throw, they never reach you on the coast
They just explode in the middle
The places no one ever needs to go
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4. |
Okay Ok
04:26
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Doomed to find the flaws in search of love and passion
Focused on the spiraling I almost missed the action
Your lips pressed on your drink, it’s something fruity
Bubble gum heels, ripped from a movie
And I can’t help but bare my teeth
I am ripped into your vortex when you tell me that you love me
In a paper walled Tatami room
But the words don’t seep through
Speak soft in violet hues
Self assured and with a twinkling eye
You go down like sparkling wine
The floor creaks leave a residual boom
As you dance from room to room
I forget we’re doomed
Never everything we want it to be
But you’re the soft comedown from railing speed
In a little nook by the window
Wine drunk, Maine snow
Thai food take out
Couch sinks in strange towns
The words they swell up in our cheeks
Flush I need some soothing
Lingering spice from Asian fusion
In a Paper walled tatami room
But the words don’t seep through
Speak soft in violet hues
Self assured and with a twinkling eye
You go down like sparkling wine
The floor creaks leave a residual boom
As you dance from room to room
I forget we’re doomed
Even the gloomy afternoon sees you
The sun will poke its way on through
You stare and we forget we’re doomed
So I lean in close, take off my coat
The floor’s covered in frost
Summer glows but indoors we embrace the cold
The just as fleeting lows
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5. |
Sister Dogs
03:20
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My palm still can feel the heat
From where the couch sinks into your seat
It’s subtle but in the distance I hear birds are singing loud
Inside an AC whose motor has long burned out
And in a sugar high, sweat laden sleep
Swear I feel your breathing, it’s as if you’re sleeping at my side
Then I open up my eyes
It’s just a little bit of love
A little sweet to wash the sour from my mouth
It was late but I saw you
Smile on your face, your teeth cut through
Could have been a paranormal event
Or maybe just a message sent from a friend
A coffee table all covered up in stains
Relics left from ice cream cause no one licked the lid
Stuck to your skin, the passing of the time
Fossilizing memories, entrench within the grime
But when the sun aligns itself with the skylight
The glass can still refract, forms a prism
That’ll shine right into the space you used to lie
It’s just a little bit of love
A little sweet to wash the sour from my mouth
It was late but I saw you
Smile on your face, your teeth cut through
Could have been a paranormal event
Or maybe just a message sent from a friend
Through a voice over…
the radio bleeds out
Says my grief is all from love
Reads a Michael Longley poem
I am left completely over whelmed
You’re lost but you are still loved
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6. |
Different Directions
04:14
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I’m foaming at the mouth
I am half the dog you wanted
The other half you’re forced to keep around
I’m calling but you just hear it as a sound
I’m talking but it just comes out as a howl
You’re close but afraid you’re textured like a cloud
I’m pulling a rope that’s tethered underground
I try to love but get caught up in empathy
Can’t digest your needs, my stomachs always empty
I live in a new thought, it breaks, I see in front of me
A bright scary world so I react incredulously
Hide out under the couch
Things you lost forgot by now
Picture the family name
Do I make it in the frame?
When you’re new then everybody wants you
You’re worn out? well hey, man I get tired too
Long days spent shuttered inside the house
Which one of us is more ashamed to be seen out?
I’m not a lot but more than what’s inside of me
I’d run on our walks if I’d escape the pity on me
All that I fear, we stay cause we can’t disappear
In different directions, neither one of us is really here
I can’t lay down feels like there’s just no room for me
Encounters I’ve had corrupted all my memories
I smile, I laugh, habits are all I have
Lick the bowl till it’s clean too full to look for any relief
Eyes going dark and I’ve lost the world’s scent
Knew that I aged faster, it’s wisdom I missed
Consigned to your place
I thought I’d come and sweep you off of your feet
We’d love each other unconditionally
I succumbed to all the flaws in my breed
Now you find that you keep tripping all over me
Always there but never quite as much as you need
I try to love but get caught up in empathy
Can’t digest your needs, my stomachs always empty
I live in a new thought, it breaks, I see in front of me
A bright scary world so I react incredulously
I can’t lay down feels like there’s just no room for me
Encounters I’ve had corrupted all my memories
I smile, I laugh, habits are all I have
Lick the bowl till it’s clean too full to look for any relief
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7. |
2k
04:31
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I wanna wake up feeling new, In a room with a mountain view
Where my knees don’t creak, feel weak from running
Altitude it soothes when your soles worn bloody
But you can’t
You know you cant hide from it
Burying the seeds doesn’t seem to stop the growing
I’m a rusty bike, one that just needs fluid
It’s a fix so easy even you could do it
But you can’t keep up with the speed of the ride
You hit a bump and you break your spine
You can’t find your breaks, you can’t find your way
But you need to stop so you use your legs
Oh, and you get so tired, hungry and your knees sore
All that you want is a ride home
To sleep in a bed that’s next to the one you love
Calling Lola, are you out there?
Is the air warm? Are you sheltered?
I swear I’ll find our spot some day
Seen the map once in a dream state
There’s just some places, some haunted I’ve got to explore
To get to imaginary places only seen in folklore
Except I’ve seen it, I’ve seen you, I’ve loved you before
So I’ll keep punching at the walls hoping somewhere there’s a door
Til’ my hands grow weak like a dream that’s not lucid
I would wake my self up but I just can’t move them I’m so tired
You get so tired, hungry and your knees sore
All that you want is a ride home to sleep in a bed that’s next to the one you love
Hope you can wait, hope you stop to grease your chain
But understand if you had to pedal; the wind was at your back,
a perfect day
Lunch on the beach facing the bay
The omnipresent sound of all the waves that we’ve heard along the way
I’ll see your face
And hope the still outweighed the change
And we can pedal off together, I’ll even let you set the pace
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8. |
Lucky Number
03:44
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It’s a small pool that I float in
Could I feel at home in the ocean?
I know you need to feel it’s breeze
I just feel more at home in the trees
I still get so scared of the seasons
My love, you’re not the same as me
You’ve got this strength that plants a seed,
makes my sea legs grow back
I need you more than you need me
Your wake has come to breach my sea
That’s alright, because you can dive
Into the floor and still see light
So I can be a human being
One in your movement, your machine
Stone in your current, rounded plane
Then watch as the surface rust just slowly fades away
Break me up so I can fit into your hand the same
But exposed to colors though I’ll watch them fade away
Somehow your pull it found me at the bottom of my pool
Lifeless I split and watched my spirit flow right into you
I hold onto my little piece of destitute
You pull and you dig new roots begin to poke on through
I’d be just fine as one more creature you collected
The tidepool in your lap or shriveled and pathetic
Cause it’s a small pool that I’m floating in but I feel at home in your ocean
know I just need to feel your breeze
I want your waves to cut me up to be a part of your wide open
My blood to set atop your sea right where the river flows in
Want to feel the pulsing from the current of two different bodies merging
I was lost inside a headache dreams of doom, of death and earthquakes
Shake me up, burn my skin
Would have died to just feel anything
You pulled me into safety
An essential or just a small keep sake
As your dirt, water plants that your seed makes
I just want to feel your breeze
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9. |
About Patterns
04:35
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Feel like I live my life through a view find
A tourist in vision, the world in a low light
I’ve got perspective like the limb that won’t work right
Pick up habits, drop skills and say my grips alright
Morning’s high pitch knocking finds its way to my door
Says to get up swiftly, you’ve got flaws to explore
In a hazy pattern as I drift through the store
Hope I don’t see anyone at all
Compulsions take the bulk of my energy
Then send it all back when I just want to sleep
Depression takes the rest of me
I bask in its glow, eating lows while the sunshine speaks
Says “you will never feel complete,
You’ll never feel trim, no
You’ll never feel neat”
Morning’s high pitch knocking finds its way to my door
Says to get up swiftly, you’ve got flaws to explore
In a hazy pattern as I drift through the store
Hope I don’t see anyone at all
Anything at all, enough to face the day
To face the world and see anyone at all
It’s too heavy a place to be
I feel like everybody needs me
And I keep tearing up when I speak
In a dream I’d only have the parts of me I’d need
I am often sprawled out, I hear sirens, light house
I am large but stripped down
Intake siphons out my busy mouth
How do I know if I’m sick or I just don’t like the skin I’m in?
How do I burn it all off to escape all my patterns but still keep my same essence?
I wanna know there’s a place free from time, free from light
Where I don’t have to feel aware
Of all the ways I am flawed in my body, my thoughts
My control, can we turn my reflection off?
Like when you were born naked
Without the working hands of a blue collar self critic
Are you even part of me?
A participant in my warped, tired memories
Is there no hope for me?
I swam in utero but now all I seem to do is wade
In a pool of my body I built along the way
Too tired to get out
Too tired of me
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Bigger Better Sun East Meadow, New York
@biggerbettersun
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